Humble Pie

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Dear Helena Rainjer,

Dear Helena Rainjer,

Hi. It's me, your mom. Are you reading this on your birthday? Because if your not then it means I either got too excited and made you read this early. Or I completely forgot to show this to you. Hopefully your not ten right now. Because that means I realllly forgot. But I know you hate it when I forget things, so heres hoping your reading this on November 17th 2009.

So why you might ask yourself, am I writing this letter to you? Because I love you silly girl.

Ya know, it was not so long ago that I was celebrating my 9th birthday. I remember 9 being very exciting. It meant I was almost 10. How exciting! (Oh come on Helena...I know what your thinking, poor use of the same adjective) But 9 years ago, a funny thing happened. Do you know what it is? huh huh huh do ya? You know where I'm going with this right?

YOU WERE BORN!! Chances are when your reading this, you will remember the story of your got born day because I will have told it to you the night before your birthday. Every year we go over the same thing, I went to the hospital, and then you came out. The End. Your not much for the nitty gritty birth details like Laila is. So I'm here to tell you (and whoever else is reading) what really went down that day. On November 17th 2000, it was most like every other day in November. Mommy missed school that day to have you, and Daddy stayed on a little fold out bed sleeping. I was a little scared because I knew you would come out that day, and I wasn't so sure if I had enough energy for that. But guess what else? I talked to you that morning. You were kicking alot, and I was lying on my side and I could feel you right underneathe my hands turning and twisting. I could also feel my body tightening and that hurt but not too too much.

So there I was, in the morning, lying on my side and breathing slowly. At first I talked about the weather, and I soon realized that I might be short on time, so I did something that I had never really gotten the courage to do. I talked to you. Really talked. Told you that I was excited to meet you, and hold you, for the very first time. That I couldnt wait to hear your voice. And that I was so thankful to be your mommy. Sadly, thats really all I got to say, because then the nurses walked in and wanted to check monitors and all that.

But that moment with you, literally lying next to me but where I couldnt see, stayed with me until I finally met you for the first time.

And meeting you for the very first time, was way more awesome than I ever imagined in my mind. I dont think you ever left my side our entire time in the hospital. And even though it has been 9 years I will never forget how you smelled (clean but sweet), how you felt (warm and soft) and even what you felt like in my arms (you were a big baby, so I remember my arm actually falling asleep a few times.)

And since that day, I have watched your hair grow longer, your body grow taller, and listened to everything you have to say. You have gone from my little-big baby wrapped tight like a burrito in my arms, to a beautiful, funny, smart and loving little-big girl. Your brother and sisters absolutly adore you. When you are not home, all three look for you. Laila was so excited this year to have recess with you, the first few times she came home from school she was yelling "I saw Helena at recess!!!" And we all know how Mina feels about her "Ayna" You are indeed our very special daughter. I love you so much baby girl, and I hope with the heighest hopes that your 9 is as fun and wonderful as you are.


Your mama

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